my life through my eyes

brink5228 @ 2005-10-30T14:09:00

2005-10-30T19:26:43Z

This weekend was a lot of fun..

Friday I worked and then I found out Libby couldnt go to state cuz she didnt have money, so she came over when i got off. We were planning on going to see Ian, Frank, Stew, and Jack's band play but then we realized our cars wouldnt make it to Ann Arbor. We wound up just drinking at her apartment and splitting a 5th of tequilla...Lane and a couple of his friends hung out with us and spent the night.

Yesturday, we woke up and went out to breakfast, and then Lane drove Libby and I out to Ann Arbor with him and his friend Matt. We went shopping at Urban and Middle Earth, had dinner then headed home. We rented Batman cuz we were really tired. It was actually really entertaining... Afterwards, i was tired so i just drove home.

Today i work until 5..but i got an extra hour of sleep cuz of daylight savings time which was sooo sweet. After work, Im picking up Libbs and heading down to Detroit to go visit at Meagans apartment and go out to dinner.

I think i may be dropping one of my classes...im just so overworked and my teacher has cancelled 4 classes already and half our class has dropped it..it would just make my life a lot easier.

I also think im staying home another semester, going to occ again but getting an apartment. If i do that then my dad couldnt complain about paying for columbia for the next 3 years...i mean, he has been paying for my sister to go there and shes graduating in May.

I dont talk to harry for a couple days, completely stop calling him, think im getting over him, and then he calls me again.. and instead of acting like the cocky asshole he's transforming into, he acts like the guy i fell in love with. Everytime i feel like i can take him out of my life scott-free, he calls or does something that makes me miss him so much and makes it that much harder to let him go.

brink5228 @ 2005-10-26T19:37:00

2005-10-27T02:38:29Z

i finally got my car back after the mechanic or whatever had it for like 18 days...it wound up being 1300, my car isnt even worth that much...

ive been really sick lately, i dont know whats wrong with me...ive just been so drained that with all my free time im just sleeping now

i wish i could cut harry out of my life..he confuses me soo much. he tells me he still cares about me and wants to get back together when i go back to chicago, but then he says that i should get over him if thats what i think i need to do...and he still calls me, but if i get mad at him he yells at me saying that were not going out. i wish breaking up was more clear...like either cutting someone out of your life or being friends...no i still want to be with you but this and that bullshit. i can deal with breaking up, i cant deal with my heart being played with for month after month..

i got a cd in the mail today! i love getting stuff that i order on the internet, i feel like i dont pay for it and i get it for free (even though i see it on my statements)

i thought coming home would clear my head so i could focus, but i still dont know what im doing. like i know what i want to do eventually, but i dont know if what i had planned is whats best for me. and i feel like im so busy with work and school that i dont have time to think about my other options. i just am worried im going to be stuck here forever now...

brink5228 @ 2005-10-23T14:55:00

2005-10-23T19:00:44Z

Im so frustrated with my parents right now

I moved out of my moms house after being home like two weeks because her boyfriend that i hate yelled at me over nothing...so i moved in with my dad...

Now im living with him, and he like flips out at me whenever i come home really late and his gf, lisa has been spending the night like every fucking night. This wouldnt really be a problem, but i dont like her...shes so stuck up and critical, so when shes around i cant smoke in the house or make noise when i come home. It just sucks that i dont even feel comfortable in my own fucking house...

and then today, im working close to 8 hours and i cant leave my job..my parents always bring me lunch or dinner...and its three and neither of them will bring me food...my dads too busy watching football and my moms phone is off so i cant even get a hold of her..

so yes this is stupid and petty shit, but i have enough on my plate right now that i feel this just topped it all off...

all i know is that i need to move out of my house

brink5228 @ 2005-10-23T10:49:00

2005-10-23T15:10:15Z

Im very tired right now and Im at work until 5. I feel like absolute shit because of jello shots..too many too fast. Last night was a lot of fun tho..i hung out with libby and meagan, and we dressed up for toms halloween party and then we went to cams house. i didnt throw up last night, but right now i really wish that i would have.

Friday night was a wierd night. Went to ryans house where libby and hannick were...drank some wine...played some euchre...then libby and i went to the melting pot and had some kick ass chocolate fondue desert and we picked up stew from work. Then we went to Taylors house...where i ran into some people i havent spoken with in years. Suprisingly it turned out to be a fun night...we got jimmy johns delivery from frank, and carrie wound up sleeping over at my house.

Harry (or i guess he goes by "charlie" now) and i have been getting along really well lately. Even though we broke up, we still talk like were together. As much as i care(d) about him, im kinda glad were not together right now just because guys always seem to cloud my head and i never do the shit i need to do when im with someone and for the first time in my life...my friends arent my priority, or a guy isnt my priority...im doing things for myself and whats best for me and i think thats something i really needed. Its just wierd to think of how different everything would be if i didnt move back home...

I just realized in this coming week i work monday, tuesday, thursday and friday...and then sunday again here...on top of a fulltime class load. and then i applied for this internship at a recording studio in ferndale and i actually got an interview for it! Its Nov. 8th...so not for a while, but im still excited. If i get it, ill probably stay home another semester to ride the job out and see what happens..

Oh also..my car broke down a long ass time ago, and ive been driving the audi. My car was finally fixed, and then call me an hour before im supposed to pick it up and tell me that my cd player got stolen out of my car and they just realized it. So now I dont get my car until tomorrow after class, but at least ill have a brand new cd player courtesey of the guys fixing my car...

"I wouldnt say that I miss you-but,
something keeps me with you.
Something about moving teaches you how
to move on..."
-Daisy May

brink5228 @ 2005-10-16T10:30:00

2005-10-16T14:40:48Z

Soooo this week/weekend has been quite interesting...

both of my parents are really sick, my dad is having random nosebleeds and my mom has the stomach flu-which i think my be effecting me now, too...

I was two hours late to work on friday and i left early because i got sick

Friday night was a lot of fun. I hung out with Libby, Anne, and Hannick..We went to this haunted house in the middle of nowhere.. I thought it was an experience...

Saturday I felt like absolute shit, but i pulled myself out of bed around noon and decided to go shopping. I went to the mall with Akiya and Ana...all we really accomplished there was eating. After the mall we went back to my dads and watched tv before going and seeing In her shoes. It was such a good movie, I almost cried a couple times...and it made me really miss Holly...

brink5228 @ 2005-10-09T16:50:00

2005-10-09T20:58:09Z

Im home now, but I cant wait until I leave. Working two jobs and going to school fulltime gets to you after a while. I dont know if I really want to go back to chicago. I dont really know where I want to go. I know I dont want to live his life...

Everyday I love him less and Im thankful for it
Im waiting for the day when he means nothing to me at all

Going up north and seeing him this weekend was an eye-opener..It made me realize a lot of things about myself that I havent been able to.

You cant plan out your life, and thats something Ive learned. Things change and people change, and there are no gaurentees. The beauty of life is that it is so spontaneous. You find everything you need as soon as you stop looking for it.

brink5228 @ 2005-08-05T20:26:00

2005-08-06T03:34:10Z

So ive lived here over a month...

my mom got a new puppy, which i have yet to see..shes 8wks old and her name is murphy :)
i couldnt make rent, which was really stressing me out cuz ive been working my ass off, but harry lent me the money so my sister would stop bitching at me.
jay and angel moved in last thursday...they are so nice and fun to be around
angels little sister and jays little brother and rorys little brother are all going to be in town this weekend and staying at our place...its going to be the attack of the little siblings.
it was harrys birthday this past sunday...i bought him this nice shirt and a belt buckle and i took him out for japanease. the night of his birthday we went to this amazing party at this kid sirus's loft south of downtown..there were three bands there and people everywhere.
school starts in less than a month and im moving out of here sept.1-havent found a place yet, but looking hard
im coming home to royal oak for the dream cruise cuz my dad is having family in from out of town and my mom wants me to see the puppy. it was a bitch trying to get work off for the weekend, but im working full time up until i leave, so it makes up for it.
its crazy how much my life has changed and how unfazed i am by it..

brink5228 @ 2005-07-18T12:08:00

2005-07-18T19:20:42Z

My life has made yet another huge change since i last updated. In the beginning of July I moved to chicago. Im living with my sister right now in her 3bdrm in east lakeview(aka boystown). Its a two floor apartment with one of those old spiral staircases. I have the entire bottom floor to myself :) The only shitty part of it is there is no ac so we have box fans going all the time. I have a job at this movie place on broadway and i work there a lot, about 35+ hours a week. my sisters puppy, mickey lives with us, too. she actually got hit by a car the other day and spent a couple nights in the doggy hospital, but we got her back yesturday. In late May, i started dating this guy Harry,who graduated from my boarding school the year before me. he's going to columbia next year and lives in the suburbs of chicago so i get to see him a couple times a week.
i thought from going to boarding school i would be more prepared for living on my own...i was really wrong. my dad payed my rent for the month of july, but starting aug1st I owe my sister 500. A couple of my sisters friends are moving in in August, living in the 3rd bedroom downstairs with me... Since ive been here my sister and i fight a lot, about stupid things like groceries and walking the dog.
It is worth it tho. I love the city, i suprisingly love my job and the people i work with...we watch movies and do crosswords all day.
Starting september i have to move out of this place cuz my dad doesnt want me living with my sister during the school year. ive been looking around for studios and 1bdrms...Harry and i have talked a little about him maybe moving in with me after the 1st semester is over, so i dont know which way im leaning

i have to shower and get ready for work..
ill update more later

brink5228 @ 2005-04-28T20:14:00

2005-04-29T00:24:53Z

Im falling in love with someone that in about a month i will probably never see again...its a really shitty feeling. we've been on and off for close to four months now, its wierd to think hes my longest relationship since mike. less than three weeks left of classes...i get to go to stratford may 12th, and then we have senior solo's on north manitou the night of my birthday. the entire senior class is planning on meeting up and just getting wasted to celebrate graduation and kayla and my bdays...(hers is the 20th). i love the fact that no one, not even some of my best friends last year, not even myself thought i was going to graduate...and here i am, making my plans for the future, away from the drama, already have experienced how it feels to be away from people like friends and parents for months at a time. i feel even though i made a lot of mistakes in my life, that they all happened for a reason, and i wouldnt be who i am, where i am today if they didnt happen. this summer plans for moving into chicago mid-june, coming up to torch lake with becca, staying with kayla in alpena, spending a little time in florida, hopefully seeing caz again before college starts, bonnaru(sp?)and just so much fun.

brink5228 @ 2005-03-06T16:29:00

2005-03-06T21:38:25Z

Since i last updated, my life has actually been interesting. we had our winter carnival, where everyone misses school and we compete in a bunch of activities. i took second place for the polar bear dip, where you jump in the river and run upstream a little bit, hop out and run back to where you started. i got around like 21 seconds. tracy beat me with 20. after winter carnival...which was last monday, we left for chicago on wednesday. it was so much fun. i love the group we went with. i got to see my sister and we talked about a lot of stuff. im moving june 1st to chicago and getting a job. i guess my dad has accounts for my sister and i and were gonna put money down on a place and share it..have like a family investment place. this weekend i came off campus with tracy, hung out with really fun people...had an interesting time. have to go back to school too soon :( cant wait for spring break. two more people left my school while i was in chicago. frank left and chelsea bolthouse, one of my good friends (and my neighbor in the dorm) is now only a day student.... i just want it to be spring and graduate and start my life.

brink5228 @ 2005-02-22T18:15:00

2005-02-22T23:20:15Z

i came in late to study hall today...this is how things played out....

Mr. Johnston: Hey Brinkman, nice of you to show up. Where were you?

Me: I was in the dorm, i had to grab my books and drop the kids off at the pool...

Mr. Johnston: What???

Me: By pool I mean toilet and by kids i mean shit....

Mr. Johnston: oh, okay, do u need to see the nurse or anything?

Me: No, the kids arent a problem anymore, i took care of buisness

brink5228 @ 2005-02-22T18:08:00

2005-02-22T23:15:26Z

i have to write an essay for my columbia application and i cant think of a good, creative thing to write about....

heres the topic:
There are two types of people in the world..._______ and _______

any suggestions???

Last home volleyball game yesturday. we lost. i got flowers tho from the coaches...all the senior girls did cuz it was out last game on our court. caz and i are being okay lately...like its wierd cuz things are over but sometimes we act like they arent. people came up to me today and were like...oh so you guys worked things out? and i was like no....why? so i guess we come off like were off and on. maybe that would explain why im not really letting go, cuz we still kinda act like we're together. i brought up dance dance and it has definately taken over here. its crazy. everyone is addicted to it. kayla tracy and i kick ass compared to everyone else, other than the koreans who are insanely good...but theyre good at everything

5 more school days and then i go to chicago!!!

spring break is so close i can feel it!! im so excited for it, it will be sooo much fun.

brink5228 @ 2005-02-15T18:24:00

2005-02-15T23:40:26Z

welp, back at school. Valentines day was ok...i cried twice. it was the first time in my life that i had a real valentine. i got him a shirt cuz i ripped his other one when we were wrestling one day, and i made him this cute card. we talked and sorted a lot of shit out. i felt like i was falling for him, and i think i was....hard, so i just needed to wake up and catch myself. were not going out, we have no title. he just gives me such mixed signals. it is the hardest thing to have a relationship at school, and we both said from the get go that we hate relationships, but somehow a month later we found ourselves in one. at leelanau, its like if your with someone, youre practically married. you eat every meal together, go to school together, and hang out in every moment of free time. and everyone knows everything about whats going on when youre with someone, and if they dont they just assume and start up rumors. its insane. neither him or i need this, we both are graduating in a couple months, going to different colleges. it just sucks because i do have strong feelings for him, he just caught himself before i did...

break was a lot of fun. friday i stopped by meagans and saw jesse and tristen and then carrie met me there and we went to kerby's. wound up staying the night over there, it was a lot of fun. saturday i slept all day and then went out with carrie again. it was soo good to see her. we sorted out all the key west plans for spring break :) the week is kinda a blur...a lot of sleep, and tv, and movies, and seeing my dad...i saw aviator, it was alright. i stole my moms car and drove four hours in the middle of the night to see Caz, and then my parents got mad and made me drive 4 hours back home on 3 hours of sleep...not a good idea. and then i was "grounded"... friday night i went over to meagans and spent the night. saturday i hung out with laura..whos always good to see!! and then i took Akiya, Pierce, and Shea to the Pistons game with me. it was nice to see them and catch up. sunday i came back here....

im going to chicago with my shakespere class in the beginning of march! im so excited! were going with the advanced art class and a couple of the music students... cant wait

brink5228 @ 2005-01-31T20:10:00

2005-02-01T01:20:07Z

I am so sore right now.... Our volleyball team just played Leland, which is currently ranked 2nd in the state, and we lost, yes, but we actually played really well, we lost 25-15 in rally scoring. But another reason im sore is we had this senior outing, where the entire senior class went to this camp for 24 hours and lived out of the same cabin. we found this one hill in the middle of the woods thats usually steps in the summer so it has all these huge bumps and we decided to go sledding down it. it was sooo much fun. we were out there for hours building jumps, video taping, people were snowboarding and snow-skating. i love my senior class so much. we are all so cool to one another. We also made masks..where we had a partner who put oil on our face and then plaster and it was really scary..i had a panic attack while i was having mine put on. they made us breathe thru these little straws and i got really creeped out. we dont have enough girls in our senior class (6) to get our own cabin, so we got to get a big one and we moved all the bunk-beds aside and put all the matresses on the ground. we were up til all hours. i had a lot of fun.

when i got back today, i went to an early dinner and my FAU advisor handed me my mail. I got accepted to two more colleges!! Niagra University in New York State like right on the falls, and Western. I really want to get into Sage, or Columbia. I still need to apply to columbia tho...

I have two essays due tomorrow that i need to work on...ill update more if or when i have time

brink5228 @ 2005-01-29T18:22:00

2005-01-29T23:35:25Z

So a lot has been going on in my life. Things are really good with Caz...he makes me soo happy. I got into another school, St. Bonaventure in New York, not the city, but the state. Tomorrow the entire senior class is going and staying at some cabin outside of traverse city for another bonding experience. We're making masks or something. For my senior thesis, Im researching ghosts and ghost stories at leelanau. I emailed all the alumni and im getting some really cool responses from people who graduated before my parents were even born...its crazy. Im taking two really hard senior english courses this semester and theyre kicking my ass. I have two essays due every week. We've been studying Walt Whitman and Allen Ginsberg, who i think are amazing poets, so that isnt too bad. I also got to read an entire play in a week and then we went to see it in traverse. it wound up being really good. i think i may try out for carousel in traverse city, or for a part as one of the ballroom dancers for cinderella. my english teacher really thinks i should. Something is really wrong with my health lately..ive been getting really bad, sudden chest pains and i cant breathe and i think im just going to drop dead one of these days from suffocation. the school nurse told me its just panic attacks, but ive had them before and theyve never been this bad or lasted as long. on thursday my daddys coming up and i get to go home with him on friday! you gotta love february break... everyone here is getting really irritable, so i think it will be good for everyone to have down time. for the last weekend of break, i think im coming up and staying with caz cuz i wont see him all break :( he told me he may come down to go to canada and drink with steve, a friend of his, and i told him he should stop by and spend the day or night with me...

on a different note...Amps and Rockstar energy drinks rock my world..i had a rockstar for the first time yesturday and i felt like i had special powers. i was at a basketball game on our fan van and the ref came over and talked to me because i was telling our team to like hit the other team and stuff...i had to apolagize after the game..it was funny but i was kinda embarassed.

brink5228 @ 2005-01-24T10:13:00

2005-01-24T15:36:57Z

Who was the...
..last person you kissed: Kayla
...last person you hugged: Caz
...last person you cried with: Kayla
...last person you laughed with: Tracy
...last person you had sex with: ***
...last person you held hands with: Brett
...last person you talked to on the phone: My daddy
...last person you IMed: Carrie
...last person you went to the movies with: Mark Chelsea and Caz
...last person you had a sleep over with: Kayla and Leah
...last person you made out with: Caz
...last person you went to the beach with: Tracy, Matty, and Brett- last hour to the observatory for class
...last person you went on an adventure with: Um...yesturday Kelli, Kayla, and Leah
...last person you sat with: Caz, Tom, Paul, and Steve at breakfast

What comes to mind when I say...
cow:dung
pink: my underwear
tears: salty
heart: bullshit
falling: how i dont want to but i am
drugs: a thing of the past
beach: florida
scanner: pictures
mushrooms: how i want to, but i get drug tested randomly
phone: how i wish my cell worked
candy: olivias bottom drawer
boys: cock
jewelry: my goodwill stuff for 50 cents
money: only $20 a week...all to cigs
cars: how i wish i had one here
emo: Asa
punk: how i never hear it anymore
prep: my school uniform i wear on special occasions
gothic: kaylas sophmore year pics
labels: me
hypocrit:how everyone is a fucking hypocrit (including me)
food: how i ate meatloaf last night ewwww
friends: a lot of people dont understand what a friend really is, and it takes going through a hard time to see who they really are..
grades: still improving

Who is the...
meanest:here...kelli, matty, caz(to everyone but me)
funniest: kelli, chelsea, kayla
saddest: leah, olivia, me?
happiest: libby, and lately it has been me...for once

brink5228 @ 2005-01-19T17:14:00

2005-01-19T22:21:51Z

I went off campus last weekend with chelsea, a friend from school. it was a lot of fun. friday i hung out with caz, this guy im kinda with...and then i slept at her house. saturday we went into traverse and shopped and mark, her boy, and caz met up with us and we went to this old insaine asylum that got shut down and its haunted...it was pretty sweet. we went out to dinner and saw white noise.
this weekend im going off campus saturday night with caz (if the rents allow)...i really like him tho. nothing serious yet. dont want to get into a relationship....
i got into ball state today. im so happy i got into a college. its not my #1 by any means...but i can fall back on it if worse comes to worse. and it has a really good journalism program.
more people are getting kicked out cuz theyre failing drug tests...i passed mine :) but it still sucks to see people you know leave your life...

brink5228 @ 2005-01-03T15:34:00

2005-01-03T23:50:20Z

back at school even though my classes dont start until wednesday...new semester. i guess we have a new kid but i have yet to see him...someone says he kinda looks like harry potter. its wierd to be back, though. my room was soo cold and smelled kinda wierd, and they unplugged all my stuff, so i had to reset my clocks...errrg. So my entire stay at kaylas was amazing. it was off to a kinda slow start but i had soo much fun. all of her friends were sooo cool to me. her friend sloan is identical to me...she wants to go to columbia and go into journalism. i think we may room together if we both wind up going. new years was a lot of fun. kaylas parents went out of town for the night and she had all the girls over. some guys stopped by at like 1:30 and didnt leave until 4ish. we played this drinking game called pyramid, and of course, my favorite, rock paper scissors.. im on such a wierd sleeping schedule...i go to bed between 2 and 4 am and wake up between noon and two...i have no clue how im going to wake up for school. i need to do really good this semester. i still have no idea where im going to college. i turned in a couple of applications to my counselor before i left for break, so ill go meet with her tomorrow to see if shes heard anything.

dont know my new years resolution yet..i could try to quit smoking, but thats hard..
i think ill try to be a better person

brink5228 @ 2004-12-30T03:10:00

2004-12-30T08:27:55Z

I realized i really never update...and i cant sleep, so its the perfect time to. Again, a lot of shit has happened since i last updated. I found out the guy i liked at school was bi and was fucking his roommate the entire year (wierd and gross). i spent a lot of time with carrie when i was home, i missed her so much! i saw laura a lot, too. i hung out with my family more so than usual. when you live away from home you realize the importance of your family. my moms been really depressed lately and im really worried about her. i went to my grandpas the 23rd with my mom, holly, and her bf rory..when we got home, we found my dog, daisy on the floor with her heart racing and she couldnt move. she had had a heart attack. after that, she didnt walk anymore. she would just shit and pee on herself while laying down and my mom had to give her like five baths a day. it was really depressing to see. i left for alpena on sunday, where i am now, staying with kayla, my friend from leelanau. my mom put daisy down on monday. ive had her since i was six...its wierd to have something in your life for so long and then all of the sudden its not there. its empty space. my mom said how empty the house feels without her there. ok, on a lighter note...christmas was pretty good. i got a lot of clothes and a really nice down comforter for school. my dad also told me that since we havent gone on a family vacation for a long time, this summer my sister, my dad and i are going to italy, i cant wait at all....i got the proofs back for my senior pics and they turned out really well. my dads getting the prints in like two weeks and sending them to me at school.
alpena has been fun so far. kayla has a lot of really nice friends. my first night here, my bus was running an hour late due to weather and i didnt get in til like 8 and we just rented Super Troopers. Monday we woke up late and her hairdresser came over to do our hair for the winter formal. her mom throws it at the yhatt(sp?) club every year for the highschool kids. over 60 people went and it was a lot of fun. she had a couple girls spend the night after. tuesday, they somehow got me to go snowboarding at nubs nob in harbor springs. i only went one time before and i was terrible. i didnt do as bad as i thought i would. im all bruised up and what not, but i learned how to stop and how to carve..im just not good at it. today i met more of her friends and we rented the craft, and right now im at her friend sloan's house...were spending the night here. tomorrow were going to get our hair done i belive...not sure, but i hope so, cuz my roots from my highlights are growing in big time.

hope everyones holidays went well...

brink5228 @ 2004-12-17T17:43:00

2004-12-17T22:56:39Z

So a lot of shit has happened since i last updated. The guy ive liked for a while, who i kinda had a thing with got kicked out last weekend. Another good friend of mine tried to kill herself :( and went home. I have strep throat still. We had our christmas dinner last night. it kinda reminded me of hogwarts dinners or something, other than the food didnt appear on the tables. im in our little seven-person choir here and last night we sang blue moon with the band. it was kinda cute. finals week is over, thank god! i did well on all my finals, but im still not sure if ill be coming back here second semester. i never thought i would say this, but i actually kinda like it here. and if i didnt come back, it would be so wierd. i would have a life again. lol. Today we went into town and the school paid for everyone to go see oceans 12. it was not what i expected, but still pretty good. the first was a lot to live up to. In a little bit, ellie, frankie and i are going out to dinner with colin. were just waiting on him to get here. Leaving tomorrow to go back to royal oak. probably getting in around 6ish... then im only home for a little over a week and i go to my punchkies house! :) Ive gotten so much closer to everyone at this school its wierd. i feel like were all family. i really wanna see how it is to spend time with someone outside of this school. were going to petosky and snowboarding at nubs nob. and i get to go to a winter formal at a country club. and for new years we may be meeting up with some of the guys who go to our school that live an hour away from her. im excited. im just worried i wont feel better by then and ill feel like shit. i got a uti today like during the movie...it was wierd. so the faculty took me to the doctor and im on meds that make my pee orange...yummy

cant wait to be home sweet home

brink5228 @ 2004-12-08T09:23:00

2004-12-08T14:24:58Z

I realized today that you should never regret what you said or what you did, because its in the past and its simply a reflection of who you were at the time. All you should do is be proud that your not like that anymore.
- me, January 28, 2004

brink5228 @ 2004-12-07T11:14:00

2004-12-07T16:21:23Z

I got all my test scores in the mail the other day. i got a 25 on my act's and a 1110 on my sat's. im not sure how good that is, but i hope it raises my chances to get into a decent college. this weekend was crazy. friday i spent all day in traverse city at goodwill and pizza hut. i got diesel shoes that are so cool for only $3 at goodwill. a girl ran away this weekend with her boyfriend. she eventually came back, shes on final contract now, so if she screws up again, she gets sent back to korea. another girl, sara, got kicked out for stealing a teachers master keys. another girl, chelsea s, got in trouble for having a copy of the set of keys sara had. kayla, chelsea b, and i got caught off bounds by the river. i have two weeks of level 5 because its my second offense. im screwed. all the teachers are pushing for me to stay second semester, so thats good. our first volleyball game is today, i cant play cuz im on level 5..but im still excited to see how our team measures up. ill write more later, i think im gonna go take a nap...

brink5228 @ 2004-11-30T16:03:00

2004-11-30T21:14:14Z

Coming back to school always sucks, but its good to see people. I think i make it out to be a lot worse than it is. Im doing extra credit in a couple classes to hopefully get over a 3.5 at semester, which is christmas. i only have seven more days of class before finals start. its so cold up here, i think it should at least be snowing if i have to be cold. ive wiped out twice today already on the wooden boardwalks, one time slipping then going down four stairs on my ass, the other time going to my class in the observatory and all my shit fell. its funny but my butt definately hurts. everyone is at sports right now, not me tho. volleyball is after dinner, kinda during dinner. coming back i realized i did miss people..kayla, chelsea, jackie, maggie, frankie, rusty..there are really sweet people here who im friends with, just sometimes im overwhelmed by the people who dont like me..which i counted today and its only like 5. so i decided im not going to let them get to me, ill use this as a personal growth expierience, learn how to let it all go. its not like its the first time someone doesnt like me...im almost used to being treated like shit from someone or another.
26 days until christmas!! i cant wait! and i get to start the new year off with a new life and new additude..

brink5228 @ 2004-11-28T17:53:00

2004-11-28T22:57:21Z

leaving again tomorrow. i feel like this is home and i dont wanna go back to school. i got home from florida at like 9 thanksgiving night. i spent time with my family in florida that i actually enjoy being around, so that was good. i saw dayna and corey and went to the beach almost every day. when i got home i hung out with my sister and her friends and watched movies. friday night i went to the pistons game!! it was so amazing! then ben came and picked me up and i went to phil chuns house, then to tatchios. it was really good to see people. i may be coming home next semester, not sure yet. i had senior pics yesturday, i hope they went well. ill update more later.

brink5228 @ 2004-11-21T18:58:00

2004-11-22T00:08:01Z

So im in florida again. i figured out today that my dad feels like im extra baggage, a ball and chain kind of thing, that im keeping him from going out cuz im not 21. it never stopped him before, i would just drink with him...i think he would prefer for me to drink around him than when hes not around. so him and his friend krauss went out tonight, and i came over to my cousin tinas house, and my aunt lauretta is here and we put up their christmas tree.
i saw jon today. he hung out over at my place for over an hour. it was wierd seeing him. i dont know if it was good or bad. i told my dad he wasnt gay, so now he doesnt feel comfortable leaving us alone anymore. i think im gonna watch shrek 2 tonight and maybe babysit if my cousin and aunt decide they want to go out.
i layed out for a bit today, like 4:30ish...the sun was already near setting. i guess it gets dark here at 6ish, which is wierd to me cuz it used to be like 9, so i didnt get much sun, but i have until thursday.
i hope my dad quits smoking for christmas..both my sister and i asked him to. its kinda hypocrytical of the both of us to ask..but im just worried about him. his cough is getting really bad lately.
for my x-mas present, my dad was talking about instead of the usual clothes and bullshit, buying me studio time and letting me record some stuff. i would absolutely love that. i told jon today and he told me one of his friends has a studio in his house. i was really shocked, cuz i think that shows people have wayyy too much money if they can do that. but jon said anytime i want i can go there and do stuff. so im excited.
well they put on shrek 2, so im gonna go watch it. ill update more later